Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Location, Location, Location!

It's high time I did my duty as a citizen, and took a small flock of acolytes under my wing for a safari of discovery in the footsteps of the city's number one Legal Alien.

Jason Lythgoe-Hay, Steve Lyons, Julia Houghton, Chris Howarth - you have been chosen to explore the streets of Cardiff, in antarctic conditions, towards a greater understanding of the new and special mythological nexus that has formed around this City of the Rift. To boldly go where no fan has gone before. Except a few.

And did they explore! Heroically sacrificing inches of shoe-leather - and nearly one whole calf muscle - they struck forth, with Yours Truly as their guide, and encompassed in one afternoon the better part of a universe of adventure. From Blitz-era London to the year 5-Billion did they trudge with never a moan, every step of the journey documented by Jason's prolific shutter. Bravely they tracked the Slitheen! Incredulously they beheld the abode of the Empty Child! Serendiptously, they took pot-shots at the retreating Cybermen! Through freezing winds and driving sleet, they braved the horrors of Grangetown to seek out the abode of the Reapers!

Afterwards, spent and righteous, they retired to the Valhalla of all Pilgrims that is Wetherspoons, wherein they slaked their thirst - and, generously, that of their trusty guide - and partook of the sausages of success. Then, with parting jollifications, they struck out for their northern homelands with disarming gusto, leaving Cardiff all the poorer for their leaving.

Good Luck and Godspeed, brave travellers, and may the lure of greater adventures speed your return!

Blue Screen of Death (ra da-da da-da!)

Communications Breakdown
Originally uploaded by Brainless Angel.
Ah, Cardiff.

You try so hard to be on the cutting edge. You spend oodles of dosh on the latest multimedia communications technology for the masses. You reach for the Future with both hands.

Such a shame you didn't listen to visionary folk-hero Edmund Blackadder, who once very nearly said, "If you want something done properly; un-install Windows before you start!"

On the plus side, I have discovered that the phrase "Blue Screen of Death" fits rather neatly into the tune of "Chanson D'Amour", and that's had me humming happily all day.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Sobriety, take #366

Bloody Scotsmen!

Come to my town, lose to my rugby team, buy me beer...

How's a fella supposed to stay in the kind of miserable funk that (apparently) begets creative inspiration?

I am so dehydrated that Sony are considering putting little sachets of me in the boxes with their gadgets. I could swear that when I got in the bath tonight, the water level actually went down.