'Hardly Any' War Crimes

BBC NEWS | Armed forces chief defends troops

'Air Chief Marshall Jock Stirrup told the BBC that "virtually all" of the "tens and tens of thousands" posted overseas had behaved "impeccably".

He conceded that this "has not been universally the case".'

Hurrah for our side! And what a comfort to those victims of abuse, to learn that their ordeal virtually didn't happen! How overjoyed must the family of Baha Mousa be, to find out that their son is virtually still alive? It's truly heartwarming stuff.

And okay, it's technically true that our troops might not be universally averse to touching up young boys; but at least when they do, we can rest assured that it's virtually harmless...

That was no crisp packet...

Secretary General "Soooo Did Not" Soil Underwear - Spokesman

Mr Ban flinched and momentarily half-ducked behind the table before recovering his composure. Mr Maliki did not react.

In honour of the admirable sang froid displayed by the Iraqi prime minister in this incident, Whispers & Moans proudly nominates Mr. Maliki for the Nonchalant Dude of the Year Award.

It later transpired that the shell had exploded a mere 50 metres away. The cucumber-cool PM barely blinked! How hard is that?

It's regrettable that, by reacting as any sane human would do to a concussive blastwave invading one's personal space, Mr. Ban has now characterised himself as - in the parlance of international diplomacy - "a complete wuss". Personally, I wouldn't go within 1,000 miles of Baghdad, so I think it only fair to judge his wussness in the proper perspective.

Glad you're okay, Mr. Secretary General.

Spade = Spade

Ex-tyrant Murdered in Cold Blood

Did he deserve it? Hell, yes; in spades.

But if we're going to tolerate this kind of thing, the minimum requirement is to call it what it is.